Alegas - My real life

(via screamthelyrics)

I see violence when I close my eyes. I see the knife - pressed towards the inner side of my arm. I see the blood dripping down with it’s glorious red color. I see the life streaming out of me, and all I want to do is to make this fantasy real. To see if I’m strong enough, to see if someone would care. They wouldn’t, so why don’t I try?

[help me, I think I’m sick]

(Source: luk3y, via the-absolute-best-posts)

But then, over to how this influence my eating: I still haven’t lost anything in a looong time, and I won’t ever get him back with all this fat on my body. Not that it’s really my goal to get him back, I just want him to miss me, to see how pretty I am, that he let go of something amazing just because he was scared. I want him to want me. I know it’s not fair, but that’s really all I want… 
So, I’ll do April with 3-4 meals a day + snacks.
The meals will be: breakfast = 2 crackers (70) lunch = water based soup (10-100) dinner = healthy “mom made” food (100-700) supper = bread (90)
snacks is basically what I’ll eat without guilt: cucumber, [2] apples, lovehearts, small bowl popcorn, fisherman friends, OI, [4] carrots, green tea, 40kcal cocoa. Chocolate is banned except on saturdays and sundays (but I won’t binge on it, I promise). 
Then, the work out: I’ll do the weekly exercises I’ve found here on tumblr + 30 minutes of spinning/jogging + butt-program + thigh gap/sexy legs/yoga workout/fitness at home/2min challenge (all found on tumblr)

if this doesn’t work, I will to do something drastic…

(Source: stophatingyourbody, via hopefulheartsandfightingspirits)

(via cuttingcurespain-deactivated201)

(via aheavydoseofreality)